I never really ‘got’ the whole faux-insanity of Gaga. I saw her interviewed a few times around the explosion of hype following ‘Just Dance’ and just thought she came across like a try-hard twat. You know the kind of douche you see wandering around the Old Blue Last with a fucking Tesco bag over their face or something, spitting baked beans out on stage to a show tune and calling it ‘art’.

Anyway, one night of J-Creep singing Poker Face at me over and over again got me thinking; this song is utter pop perfection, it feels a little bit wrong but I can no longer resist. And my god I need more! Next thing I know Bad Romance has surfaced and us Creeps all lapped it up immediately, so bizarre and nonsensical and catchy, kind of like Poker Face’s fucked up, Rasputin-loving darker twin. So what if it sounds similar? There could be ten Poker Face copycat tracks released in the next few months and I would love each and every one of them like they were my first born.

So today the video for the track was finally unleashed online and I’m quite hysterical about it. Like I’m sitting in an office right now dreaming of prising my eyes apart with matchsticks, dyeing my hair ginge-pink and running away to join the Haus Of Gaga.

It feels like when I first saw Madonna’s Human Nature video. So bold and strange and dark and sexy, I can’t take my eyes off it. I don’t want to go through some lame analysis of each Gaga ‘look’ – I could you know, at length – but I’ll just say this: Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animals in an über-glam mental asylum. She’s thrown down the gauntlet with this one. Is there another pop star out there right now who could come up with something as mind-blowingly awesome as this? I doubt it.